Joy Despair Dialogue

I met Joy a while back

and we hung out for awhile
but never really connected

and eventually we each
went our separate ways.

Despair, on the other hand

he and I have been inseparable for years

talking late into the night
every night
and texting each other during the day.

I don’t respond to Joy’s
Facebook posts any more
I just really don’t want to go there
it’s so hard to disengage once you
open that door, if you know what I mean.

Despair wraps his long arms

around my shoulders
and whispers dark thoughts

into my ears and I can’t help
but shrink into his embrace

while Joy keeps trying
leaving messages
driving past my house at odd hours

waiting for another chance
to get it right this time.

Oh, Despair, my childhood chum
maybe it’s time we part ways
for awhile
see other people, try new things
at least on a trial basis?

Joy, I’m ready to give you another chance
if you’ll still have me
come on by some afternoon
we’ll drunk download songs from iTunes
and have dance party in the living room
late into the night.
After all, what have we got to lose?

written 4/25/10

I’m Like an Old House

I’m like an old house
fallen into disrepair
isolated and neglected
with ivy growing up my siding and
weeds taking over my flower beds
now nothing but thorns and brambles.

I feel all alone out here
unprotected

with no one but the wind and the
birds to share my thoughts with.

Has anyone been through
what I’ve been through?

Does anyone else out there
feel the way I do?

I guess I’ll never know
alone on my own barren peninsula
waiting for one strong gust of wind

to topple the remaining rotten supports
and tumble what’s left of this old house
into the cold, cruel sea.

written 4/22/10

Everybody’s Got a Critic

This poem must be immaculate
exquisite and divine.
Leave those messy tangled emotions
and pent up frustrations
in the corner of the room
and give me hard, angular lines
matched in perfect symmetry
stretching far into the horizon.
Yes, it must be perfect
perfect and grand
with every word carefully inspected
poked and prodded
weighed and measured
and placed with precision
into this rube goldberg device
so that all of its parts are ready to roll
without flaw

dazzling the reader on cue
over and over again
like the grand finale
of an elaborate fireworks display
and this poem must be smart
well researched and literate

connecting the dots between what has come before
and what will surely follow.
This poem must be built of sturdy materials
like cold steel
ready to withstand the ages
rising solitary
tall and proud
from amidst a vast wasteland of sandy dunes.
Look at my beauty and perfection!
Worship my brilliance!
Now fuck off and die.

written 4/15/10

The Beasts

I’ve fallen again
from great heights
to subterranean bunkers
full of beasts
fully armed
 for the coming armageddon
dimly lit by black flames
and stinking of sulfur and rot
where I will finally be overrun by
my own dark army of ghouls and demons.

Until then, I cower in cold darkness

naked and unable to fight
waiting for the beasts to have their way
when they’ll chew me up
and spit me out
dancing gleefully
on the discarded bones.

written 4/11/10

Dark Unfamiliar Landscapes

I’m lost in this ugly urban wilderness
full of dirty blackness and sharp menacing edges
and there’s no way out of this dark labyrinth
where I stumble blindly
afraid to speak for fear of unleashing
dark forces who hunger
for wandering souls such as mine.
Choking back the tears
swallowing back the bile
I carry on
stumbling around in dark, unfamiliar landscapes
hoping for a fatal blow to the head
to wake me from this
never ending nightmare

written 4/11/10

A Prayer

The skies are darkening again
big black clouds are rolling in
and I watch helplessly
a small child huddling under the kitchen table
as the sky outside turns threatening
it’s tornado season and I feel
smaller and smaller by the moment
as the weight of all that lies above me
crashes down on me
pinning me to the floor
I want to cry out but I can’t breathe
panic and fear is all there is
all there ever was
all there ever will be
forever and ever
amen.

written 4/11/10

Blood Worms

The blood worms are falling
from the trees up above
while the sky darkens

and the rain begins to pour.
The worms all fat and black
are falling in my hair
wriggling their way
into my shoes
and it’s all I can do
to keep from running

screaming hysterical
from this horrible scene.
Instead I stand frozen
wondering how I got here

while the blood worms fall harder
from the trees above
burrowing and crawling crawling
deep under my clothes
it’s a downpour of worms
I’m repulsed, horrified
but still, I don’t move
I stand motionless, waiting

for the storm to pass
and the worms to recede
crawling back up
to wherever they came from.

written 3/10